Never Say
by J. Maria
Summary: Never tempt fate and say whats the worst that can happen around Dawn and Faith. Especially not on a Tuesday.  BtVS, SPN, & TrueBlood.


Title: Never Say  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns the girls, Kripke owns the guys, Harris/HBO own the denizens.  
Summary: Never tempt fate and say whats the worst that can happen around Dawn and Faith. Especially not on a Tuesday.  
Set: post-series, au!season 2 of Supernatural (post John dying, roadhouse crew meeting and after Gordon and Lenore), and early season 2 of True Blood.  
Words: 3,115  
A/N: and this should be the poster child for why its not right to keep me over at work and stick me in a department by myself...because then I imagine zombie invasions and start talking to myself. Sequel-y thing to Cause Some Trouble, and prequel-y to Unholy Riot, which is the drabble set combining the three.

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Never Say

Things had been going downhill since the Sunnydale suckage, to say the least. Thousands of girls had been turned into slayers, the battle was going firmly toward the side of good. And then they'd lost all contact with Angel and his crew. Spike, Fred-now-Illyria and a teenager named Connor had shown up to tell them that Wesley, Cordelia, Gunn and Angel had all died in the fight against Wolfram & Hart. Then Harmony Kendall, of all people, was one of those leading the way out of the coffin. And promptly all of the newly gifted slayers were the bad guys.

Things hadn't gone smooth for the Council since. Including tonight's foray into the utterly bizarre.

Dawn Summers yanked the wheel hard to the right, partially enjoying the grind of the wheels against the rutted dirt road. Her body, and the girl currently hanging onto the back of the truck were violently protesting however.

"Summers, I'm gonna beat you senseless," Faith Lehane snapped, her weapon denting the roof of the truck's cab. Dawn winced and Vi Day groaned in the seat beside her.

"Just keep...beating them back, Faith! And hold the fuck on!" Dawn shouted back, gravel spitting up as she burned rubber around a bend. A sigh escaped her lips as she noticed lights up ahead of them. Green neon words flashed at her through the trees. "About damn time! I never thought we'd catch a break!"

The moment the words left her mouth, she knew it was a mistake. Vi actually whimpered beside her as the gas light flickered again and a horrible grinding sound hit her ears. Dawn slammed on the gas pedal again, and felt the truck lurch half-heartedly another dozen yards or so before coming to a stop half-way up the drive to - did that say Merlotte's?

"Damn, D, move your scrawny ass!" Faith snapped, leaping out of the bed, racing to the passenger side door to help the wounded Vi out. "Now, Summers!"

"I'm coming!" Dawn snapped back, scrambling for the duffle she'd crammed under the passenger seat. She dragged it out of the truck behind her, looping it quickly over her head. She clutched a bat and a heavy metal sauce pan in both hands, racing to join Faith and Vi.

Together the three women sped along the drive, racing around a sunshine yellow car and a black muscle car, sundry trucks and other cars. The lights were still bright inside and Dawn almost slowed her pace. Faith seemed to sense this and shoved the younger woman in front of her, moving Vi between them. Dawn jerked the heavy wooden door open and ushered them in before slamming it shut behind her and leaning back against it heavily.

Which brought every eye in the bar on them. Dawn was sure they made a scary sight. Faith's shitkicker boots, form fitting leather pants and once-white muscle tee were covered in thick brown gore. Some of it was mud, some of it body parts and decaying flesh, a lot of it was sweat. Her long dark brown hair had been up in a tight ponytail, which saved it from being covered in the same gore. Vi's heavy-duty dark gray camo pants were ripped in some spots and stained in the same gore as Faith's clothes. Her dark blue tee was drenched in sweat, the lower half bloodstained from the long gash across her abdomen. Dawn had staunched the blood flow with the matching gray camo jacket Vi had been wearing, having tied it tightly around her stomach. Her long red hair was damp with sweat, her ponytail hanging limply down her back.

Compared to the slayers, Dawn was the cleanest out of them all. The two slayers had shoved her towards the truck first, battling their attackers off so she could provide a quick retreat. She had a few grass and dirt stains on her dark blue jeans, and a few damp spots on her own teal tee shirt. Her hair was falling out of the clip she had thrown it up in. Still, she felt completely gross compared to the three pretty women in the bar. Each one was dressed in clean clothes and nary a hair was out of place. Bonus? She still looked more presentable than Faith.

"What the hell is going on tonight?" a scruffy, yet hot guy in a blue plaid shirt muttered from behind the bar.

"Nothing good," the woman with reddish hair and in designer clothes snapped in their direction. Two gorgeous men - one blond, the other brunet glared at them, their nostrils flaring slightly.

"Fuckin A, Dawnie," Faith muttered before saying their code word. "Hostile seventeen."

"Shit," Vi coughed, and then immediately winced. Her hand dropped to her waist.

"Oh my god, is she okay?" The blonde waitress rushed around the bar toward them, until the dark vampire grabbed her arm. "Bill, that girl is hurt!"

"She is also armed," Bill glared at Dawn.

"We were attacked on the road," Dawn still didn't give up her bat and pan. Not that they were very effective against vampires. And she was guessing Bill with the hot blond and the fashion plate diva, brought the vamp total up to three.

That left seven mortals besides them. There was the female barkeeper, scruffy man, two cooks peeking out from the kitchen and two bar patrons. Faith met her look, her eyes darting to the blonde waitress and scruffy man. Okay, so three vamps, five mortals and two _others_ that were setting off the slayer's vibes. Fabulous.

"What attacked you?" One of the guys with dark hair and in flannel asked. Seriously, if guys were this hot in backwater towns in the south, she was so moving there. It took Dawn a few seconds to answer.

"Uh, really slow moving guys who -" _wanted to reenact a Romero flick all over our asses. Yeah, Summers, because they'll really believe _zombies_ are after you and your slayers._ "Tried to uh, steal our car and probably rape us." Which was partially true.

"You lie," the blond vampire leaned negligently against the bar, which really irritated the female bartender and scruffy guy.

"But we do love the smell of lies on pretty nubile young things," the female vampire grinned wickedly. Her hand clenched tightly in the hair of the guy with lighter hair, jerking his head back. "Don't we, pet?"

He smacked at her hand and jerked away, glaring at her. And if looks could kill, she'd be back in her coffin. She merely ruffled his hair and closed rank with the blond vampire.

"I like the flesh eaters better," Vi murmured, before coughing and pushing herself upright. If she was gonna get taken down by hot vamps, she was gonna be upright for it.

"Zombies aren't real," the blonde waitress frowned at them.

"Zombies? Sookie, what the hell are you talking about?" the male bartender frowned, looking between the vampires and the waitress.

"Yeah, well, some Hoodoo casting bitch is bringing the dead back, and they aren't as pretty as your boys there," Faith snapped, nodding to Dawn to take the injured Vi and her weapon. Without saying boo to anyone, she grabbed the nearest table and easily picked it up, shoving it against the doors. The mortals (well, three of them anyway) gasped at her show of strength. "Zombies are headed this way, and they are some mean ass motherfuckers. So unless you feel like playing organ donor tonight, I suggest y'all sit the fuck down and make your amends to any gods you got in your back pocket."

"Except for Glorificus, cause that bitch is so dead," Dawn muttered.

"What's a slayer? And why do you have two of them?" Sookie, the waitress, asked, leaning farther back into her vampire's protective hold.

"Slayer?" the blond vampire spun to face them.

"You would find the _one_ fucking bar with a resident mind reader, Summers," Faith muttered, reclaiming her weapon and leading Vi over to an empty booth. She ignored the raised hackles of all three vamps and the two frowning men closest to the vampires. The dark haired one smirked at the pet, who only muttered something at him.

"Like I had a lot of options - swamp, more swamp, or backwoods bar. You try driving with zombies hurling themselves at your widow, oh, wait! They took away your license _again_," Dawn snapped at her slayer before turning an annoyed look the vampires way. "They're not going to attack you. The Council was forced to make a deal with the Vampire Nation. Your Sheriffs should have briefed you. Though, I can't guarantee what will happen when I meet up with Harmony Kendall next time."

"The face of West Coast Vampirism?" one of the guys said.

"Bitch sold out a few fangers we knew to Wolfram & Hart," Vi muttered, wincing as she pealed her jacket back. "Nobody's got triage training, right?"

"We do," Pet nodded to his companion. "Sammy can stitch it up if you arent too particular about it being pretty."

"Doesn't really matter. It'll heal up peachy no matter the hack job it gets," Faith winked at Sammy. "What does Sammy need?"

"Uh, what kind of wound are we looking at?" Sammy, who was nearly as tall as the blond vampire, sidled away from him moving quickly to Vi's side, where Dawn was removing her jacket from the wound.

"Deep laceration, but it's mostly a wicked looking flesh wound," Dawn gave him the rundown as she caught the eyes of the bartenders. "Do you have a garbage can or bag I can toss her soiled clothes in?"

"Dawnie, did you bring _clothes _over _weapons_?" Faith snapped, interrupting her.

"Well, duh," Dawn rolled her eyes at the slayer. "Also, if you've got clean towels? Faith, I brought clothes for you too."

"Here," the hot scruffy guy brought a black garbage bag to them.

"I'm Dawn, by the way. This is Faith and Vi," Dawn folded the jacket down into the bag.

"I'm Sam Merlotte, I own the place."

"Two Sams?" Vi shook her head, not sure if she was hearing correctly with all of the blood loss.

"Grunt, focus on the important things," Faith gave her a smirk. "What do you need, Sammy-boy?"

"Uh, thread, needle, alcohol to numb her and clean the area," Sammy looked pained.

"And the vamps to stay back," Vi groaned, eyeballing the three vampires. Ineffectively.

"Yeah, well, whichever one's feed recently might have to hold you down from kicking Sammy in the face," Dawn rolled her eyes at her slayer, rolling up her sleeves to accept the clean bar towels from the female bar tender. "Thanks, uh, -"

"Tara."

"Oh," Dawn was caught off guard for a second.

"I know, right," Tara gave a dry chuckle. "A black girl named after a plantation."

"Oh, it - had nothing to do with that. But that is kind of kooky," Dawn smiled back at her.

"I can run out to my trailer and see -"

"Sam M., what part of zombie incursion didn't you follow?" Sammy's brother shook his head at Merlotte.

"Even the vamps aren't safe from Hoodoo zombies. One nick and they'd be under the spell," Dawn shook her head.

"I doubt that's a fear we have -"

"Oh, because you're not bitable, blondie?" Faith snapped at the vampire.

"I'm extremely bitable, slayer," the blond vampire leered at Faith.

"Okay. Vi's _bleeding here_, Faith. Go clean up quick. You're a mess," Dawn ordered, squaring her shoulders. "Take the duffle. Just let me grab the needle and surgical thread we've got in the front pocket. Thank the goddess Andrew made me pack them."

She fished out the supplies and tossed the bag at Faith. There were more than just two changes of clothes. A few weapons and their Sat phone was in the bag too, along with a few easy spell ingredients. Each woman had a bag, but they'd lost Faith and Vi's in the first foray with the zombies. She'd already pulled out a baggy tee for Vi once they cleaned her up.

The table propping up the door shook a little as the zombies decided to make their presence known. Dawn turned her attention to Merlotte.

"You've got a bathroom she can clean up in, right?" When he nodded, she turned to Faith. "You've got five minutes, Lehane."

"I hate that G-man told you that name," Faith took her weapon back from her. "You good ole boys better have fed already, cause God help you if that girls missing any more blood when I get back."

"Faith, don't exacerbate things," Dawn snapped. "I need one of them to hold her down for Sammy and me."

"I shall do it," Bill eased Sookie behind him and went to help Sammy and Dawn.

"Thank you. Faith, go get changed!"

Bill waited until Faith was following Merlotte down the hall to clean up before coming anywhere near the slayer. Dawn gave him a tight smile as she cut Vi's shirt open.

"She was not -"

"Nope, not bit," Dawn gently washed away the blood and dirt around the wound. Vi jerked, and Bill quickly held her still. "She was thrown through a window. The hoodoo witch's window. Then she sicced the zombies on us. Blood draws everything - zombies, vamps and mosquitoes. Ain't that right, Grunt?"

"Shut up, Dawn," Vi's words starting to slur could not be a good thing.

"Sammy, I need you to work fast on my girl," Dawn gave him a tight smile. "Like now. You two vamps could help secure the perimeter. Use that nifty super strength to block up the windows and back entrance - you do have a rear, dont you, Sam M.?"

Pet chuckled at that. Dawn glared at him.

"You'll have to excuse my brother Dean," Sammy joined her in the glare-giving. "He's got the maturity of a twelve year old."

"Ah, I know a few guys like that. So you're brothers? You don't sound local."

"Yeah, we, ah - were here on a job."

"They're hunting monsters, much like I suspect you and your slayers are doing."

"We're on a road trip looking for those fangers who Harmony sold out. We were stationed in Cleveland until they ran us out of town with pitchforks and torches," Dawn huffed.

"Literally," Vi muttered from her relaxed position.

"Here's some wet towels. Lafayette is boiling more hot water for y'all," Sookie chewed at her bottom lip. "Is this zombie thing happening everywhere?"

"No."

"Hoodoo. Bitch," Vi bit out as Dawn started cleaning the area.

"All we have to do is wait until sunrise," Dawn blew a falling strand of hair from her eyes. "They're powered by the full moon. Once the moon is gone, they'll drop wherever they are. We hope."

"Pam, Eric and myself should be able to outrun -"

"The three dozen plus zombies out there without getting bit? I don't doubt you're fast, but they got the numbers. And while the bites won't turn you into zombies, per say, they'll definitely put you under the Hoodoo priestess's control. I'm not sure you'd want that."

"What about all the people out there? The folks who were in the bar before the vamps strolled on in for a battle royale?" Tara asked, hands on her hips as the black cook - Lafayette, Dawn assumed, brought out a hot boiling pan of water and set it on the table.

"When I said sic I really meant sic. They're keyed in on our scent. So, sorry about that," Dawn muttered as she flipped open a lighter to sterilize the needle.

Sam M. returned from securing the front windows with the two other vampires, and the unnamed cook slapped a bottle of whisky on the table.

"We're locked down as best we can be," Sam M. frowned.

"Start stitching her up," Dawn handed Sammy a pair of latex gloves she'd grabbed from her bag.

"What the hell you got in that bag girl?" Lafayette cried.

"It's like Mary Poppins bag," Dawn gave a quick grin. Which it kinda was. Willow'd spelled it up to be light and carry a lot. "Just as I am like Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way."

Which drew a snort from Vi. The others seemed to back off a bit as the banging on the doors and windows got louder. Sammy's hands shook a bit as he started sewing Vis flesh together. She winced in pain as Vampire Bill bore down on her shoulders.

"Cmon, Grunt, get your head out of your ass and suck it up," Dawn's hands shook as she quickly wiped away the blood so he could see better. "I've had paper cuts worse than this."

"Go to hell," Vi's own smile wobbled a bit as she tensed to keep from thrashing from the pain that had only been slightly dulled by the booze.

"I shared a house with Buffy and mini-Slayers. That is hell."

"No, you're about to be in hell once I get through with you," Faith growled, her shitkicker boots looking odd with the grey sweat shorts and nearly see-through white tiered tank top. "Did you wanna make me bait to those brainless motherfuckers?"

"Is it my fault you lost your bag and are now stretching out my favorite pjs?" Dawn snapped back.

Faith made a face like she was ready to yell at the watcher, but cracked her knuckles instead. Seeing that Sammy, Vampire Bill and Dawn had Vi under control, she reached around for her weapon that was stashed next to her watcher.

"Oh, baby, it felt so weird without you in my hands," Faith cooed to the metal object.

"You're gonna make your knives jealous," Dawn fought a grin at the slayer's weapon. As weapons went, it was fairly ridiculous.

"This baby has got me through a hell of a fight."

"In these circumstances, give me a double barrel shotgun over that," Dawn shook her head.

"I've got one of those," Dean grinned.

"On you?" Dawn perked up for a second.

"Uh, in my car."

"So not helpful."

"Do not diss my weapon, Brat."

"Is that a goddamn paper towel holder she's got in her hands?" Lafayette cried

"Any weapon necessary, sugar," Faith winked at him and went back to ignoring the banging of the zombies on the door. "I suggest you find the biggest blunt instrument around and pray for sunup."

"Unless you're a vampire," Sookie chewed at her lip.

"Then I guess you pray for closets and crawlspaces," Dawn fought a grin as she brushed the hair away from Vi's forehead.

"Its going to be a long night," Vi shook her head.


End file.
